by Brant G, 1 June 2025
Conquering Africa in one of Civilization 5’s special scenarios
Last episode, we exchanged handshakes with a few Europeans, and hit the ‘pause’ button in our war on the Zulus.
Caravan bros before “Caravan, ho!”s
I don’t have many places to send this thing, so I’ll send it to Zukeland for now, and expect that it’ll get recalled when I’m ready to return to whuppin’ ass.
click images to enlarge
Exploring to the West
Well, apparently there are Canadians Barbarians in sub-Saharan Africa. And that Zulu settler that got away? He’s planted a city to the upper right on this view.
“Th’ Anglish, sir! Off the port bow!”
Damn those limey interlopers! They’re everywhere! I don’t mind explorers and caravans, but that rifleman has me at least a little worried.
This is the latest episode in a running playthrough of Civilization 5 from 2K Games; you can find new installments each Sunday
Railin’ On!
Even though the victory condition means jack-nada to the Boers, you’ll still get updates each time the longest rail line gets extended for the Europeans.
The West Coast
Looks like we found Toronto, uh, I mean we found a “barbarian camp.” Additionally, look just off the coast. That’s not just any old boat, that’s a German Brandenburg Class boat. Altogether now… “ooooooh…. aaaaaaaah…”
And introducing, General Menace
OK, so it’s Sun Tzu as a Boer general. He’s about to be a General Menace to the Zulus when I park a citadel right here, and grab those citrus hexes. It’ll also shore up the west flank of Bloenfonten for the next round of war with the Zulus, as it’ll make attacking from Umgungungungungungundlovu prohibitively dangerous for them.
Provoke war?
Check.
“Driving that train… high on cocaine…”
The rails keep gettin’ longer out here, and someone else keeps gettin’ the victory points that I’m not even allowed to earn. They’re just teasing me.
Really?
Like your pitiful denunciations mean anything to me. I fart in your general direction.
Smile Alert!
I’m not sure what Maria’s ding to keep the Portuguese that happy, but it’s gotta be pretty sweet. I need to pump up the happy-meter for my folks, but I’m not too worried. I’ve got a bunch of luxury resources in my borders; I just haven’t cultivated them all yet.
Open Borders
Sure!
Another Caravan
Not a lot of places to send him right now until I can explore a little wider.
Don’t Wander Too Far From Home
I’ve got an infantry unit exploring a bit, but need to bring him back home in anticipation of the next round of kicking Zulu tookus.
Checking the Production
I can’t build “real” cav units yet, but I can build some lancers, and they’re mounted to move around quicker, so I’ll take them.
Checking on Victory Conditions
There’s a score tracker that annoyingly pinned to the right side of the game screen (and non-collapsible!) but I was curious what the detail victory screen looked like. It’s a lot of “this victory condition is disabled”. My score isn’t too high yet, but I haven’t started farming or building my Staatsmuseums yet, either.
Hmmmm…
The Portuguese want to pick a fight with the Zulus? Count me in! I ask for 10 turns to prep, just to make sure I’ve got all my bullet-slingers in the right places.
Time to Build a Plantation
And get the happy-meter up a little. I’m way behind cultivating, so it’s time to get to work.
There are Old Barbarians, and there are Bold Barbarians
Meh, you know the rest
I Found a Portuguese City
So I’ve got an alternate caravan destination now.
Kum-ba-ya, my Ports… Kum-ba-ya…
Sure, I’ll be your friend. You’re about to help me erase my nemesis from the map!
Civilization 5 AAR – The Scramble for Africa
PART 1 ~ PART 2 ~ PART 3 ~ PART 4 ~ PART 5 ~ PART 6 ~ PART 7 ~ PART 8 ~ PART 9 ~ PART 10 ~ PART 11 ~ PART 12 ~ PART 13 ~ PART 14 ~ PART 15 ~ PART 16 ~ PART 17
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Brant G, 25 May 2025
We started off with a bang… dropped two cities, then drop-kicked the Zulus into a war.
So here goes the start of turn 2 or so. I mean, really – why waste time where there’s this much tail to kick?
Yes Dude, I got it…
You’re unhappy that I’m about to whip your butt.
click images to enlarge
D’oh!
Her majesty is upset at my land-grab. I’d rather her mad at me now than cultivating my vineyards on turn 11.
Another of those wacky victory conditions
Finding natural wonders scores points for the Europeans.
This is the latest episode in a running playthrough of Civilization 5 from 2K Games; you can find new installments each Sunday
Here goes the war
The Zulus immediately make for Bloemfonten. I’ve got some defenses. Will it be enough?
Wow, that’s a lot of firepower
There’s a lot of attacking, but not a lot of damaging, going on here. Both of my infantry units survive, and one is getting promoted.
Yeah, pretty much gotta zap-heal this guy
I need him in the fight.
This is what we call a “target-rich environment”
Plenty of bombardment-catchers to choose from.
Kill the bastards!
I focus my bombardments and ground attacks on guys that are already damaged. If they’re dead, they can’t hit back next turn.
Nice to meet you
Now get outta the way! I gotta war to fight!
Keeping the Workers Working
But safely away from the fray. I need the resources, but the Zulus aren’t anywhere near threatening Pretoria so long as I keep them bottled up near Bloemfonten. I do manage to capture one of the Zulu workers in the fight, too.
Another zap-heal
I need guys at full-strength right now, to survive next turn’s attacks.
Get that Caravan moving!
The only place I can send it right now is Cape Town. That’s not just the only foreign city in range, it’s also away from the fight, so it won’t get plundered. My war is 3 turns in, and there’s some plinking going on, but their settler got away. Bummer.
Begging for Mercy Already?
The Zulus want a peace treaty. Considering how bad I’m whuppin’ ’em right now, I understand.
I’ll give them a brief respite
And it’ll cost you your silver for me to do it.
Well, hi-de-ho neighbor!
Leopold just borrows Pedro’s portrait from Brazil. Again, I’m not capturing every screen, but I’m establishing embassies with everyone.
Hey Stanley! Are you out looking for Dr Livingstone?
It was a Belgian explorer that made contact. Again, I’m not out exploring much myself right now, having just started a war and all.
First Policy
The Zulus have planted their second city, but I got my land-grab in first and will be able to separate their two cities here very soon. If you look on the right side of the screen, I’ve accumulated enough culture for a social policy, too.
New Policy Tree
With a short scenario like this, you’re going to be limited on what you can culturally accomplish, anyway. For the sub-Saharan states, there are essentially 2 policy tracks of 3 steps each. I want Warrior Code because I want the Great General, who I plan to use to build a citadel and steal someone’s land. I wonder who… hmmm….
Near-horizon exploring
I just want to know what’s in the neighborhood. Looks like Portugal is next door.
And those bastards grabbed my wine!
Part of the reason I planted Bloemfonten where I did was the resources around that location. And now the Ports are bogarting my vino! We’ll have words about this with them…
… next time!
Civilization 5 AAR – The Scramble for Africa
PART 1 ~ PART 2 ~ PART 3 ~ PART 4 ~ PART 5 ~ PART 6 ~ PART 7 ~ PART 8 ~ PART 9 ~ PART 10 ~ PART 11 ~ PART 12 ~ PART 13 ~ PART 14 ~ PART 15 ~ PART 16 ~ PART 17
Thank you for visiting the Regiment of Strategy Gaming and riding with The Armchair Dragoons.
Rather than list a bunch of social media links, the easiest thing to do is to check out our LinkTree, which connects you to all of our various locales around the web.
You can also support The Armchair Dragoons through our Patreon, and find us at a variety of conventions and other events.
Feel free to talk back to us either in our discussion forum, or in the comments below.
