by Brant G, 1 June 2025
Conquering Africa in one of Civilization 5’s special scenarios
Last episode, we exchanged handshakes with a few Europeans, and hit the ‘pause’ button in our war on the Zulus.
Caravan bros before “Caravan, ho!”s
I don’t have many places to send this thing, so I’ll send it to Zukeland for now, and expect that it’ll get recalled when I’m ready to return to whuppin’ ass.
click images to enlarge
Exploring to the West
Well, apparently there are Canadians Barbarians in sub-Saharan Africa. And that Zulu settler that got away? He’s planted a city to the upper right on this view.
“Th’ Anglish, sir! Off the port bow!”
Damn those limey interlopers! They’re everywhere! I don’t mind explorers and caravans, but that rifleman has me at least a little worried.
This is the latest episode in a running playthrough of Civilization 5 from 2K Games; you can find new installments each Sunday
Railin’ On!
Even though the victory condition means jack-nada to the Boers, you’ll still get updates each time the longest rail line gets extended for the Europeans.
The West Coast
Looks like we found Toronto, uh, I mean we found a “barbarian camp.” Additionally, look just off the coast. That’s not just any old boat, that’s a German Brandenburg Class boat. Altogether now… “ooooooh…. aaaaaaaah…”
And introducing, General Menace
OK, so it’s Sun Tzu as a Boer general. He’s about to be a General Menace to the Zulus when I park a citadel right here, and grab those citrus hexes. It’ll also shore up the west flank of Bloenfonten for the next round of war with the Zulus, as it’ll make attacking from Umgungungungungungundlovu prohibitively dangerous for them.
Provoke war?
Check.
“Driving that train… high on cocaine…”
The rails keep gettin’ longer out here, and someone else keeps gettin’ the victory points that I’m not even allowed to earn. They’re just teasing me.
Really?
Like your pitiful denunciations mean anything to me. I fart in your general direction.
Smile Alert!
I’m not sure what Maria’s ding to keep the Portuguese that happy, but it’s gotta be pretty sweet. I need to pump up the happy-meter for my folks, but I’m not too worried. I’ve got a bunch of luxury resources in my borders; I just haven’t cultivated them all yet.
Open Borders
Sure!
Another Caravan
Not a lot of places to send him right now until I can explore a little wider.
Don’t Wander Too Far From Home
I’ve got an infantry unit exploring a bit, but need to bring him back home in anticipation of the next round of kicking Zulu tookus.
Checking the Production
I can’t build “real” cav units yet, but I can build some lancers, and they’re mounted to move around quicker, so I’ll take them.
Checking on Victory Conditions
There’s a score tracker that annoyingly pinned to the right side of the game screen (and non-collapsible!) but I was curious what the detail victory screen looked like. It’s a lot of “this victory condition is disabled”. My score isn’t too high yet, but I haven’t started farming or building my Staatsmuseums yet, either.
Hmmmm…
The Portuguese want to pick a fight with the Zulus? Count me in! I ask for 10 turns to prep, just to make sure I’ve got all my bullet-slingers in the right places.
Time to Build a Plantation
And get the happy-meter up a little. I’m way behind cultivating, so it’s time to get to work.
There are Old Barbarians, and there are Bold Barbarians
Meh, you know the rest
I Found a Portuguese City
So I’ve got an alternate caravan destination now.
Kum-ba-ya, my Ports… Kum-ba-ya…
Sure, I’ll be your friend. You’re about to help me erase my nemesis from the map!
Civilization 5 AAR – The Scramble for Africa
PART 1 ~ PART 2 ~ PART 3 ~ PART 4 ~ PART 5 ~ PART 6 ~ PART 7 ~ PART 8 ~ PART 9 ~ PART 10 ~ PART 11 ~ PART 12 ~ PART 13 ~ PART 14 ~ PART 15 ~ PART 16 ~ PART 17
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